Look, everybody, it’s Tyler! And he cost Dolph Ziggler a match! After weeks of lurking on The Showoff’s periphery, NXT wunderkind Tyler Breeze finally screwed over the former World Heavyweight Champion in earnest, providing a timely distraction during Ziggler’s one-on-one tilt that fed him to current Intercontinental Champion Kevin Owens. Before then, however, KO even took his cues from Prince Pretty, dismantling the right leg that Breeze has targeted over the past few weeks and reducing Ziggler to a writhing heap. The Showoff clawed his way back into the thick of it on one good leg, but Breeze’s ringside preening took Ziggler’s eye off the ball and sent him stumbling into a Pop-up Powerbomb. The post-match Beauty Shot was just the cherry on top. The gorgeous, gorgeous cherry.
In a battle of style between two guys nicknamed “The Awesome One” and “The Swiss Superman,” it’s safe to say we’re all winners. But only one of them could actually win in a match on Raw, and that man, resoundingly, was Cesaro. The Miz was not so lucky. Despite his Raw Pre-Show assertion that a sports-entertainer can topple a self-proclaimed wrestler, the former WrestleMania main-eventer was dismantled by a 20-plus rotation Cesaro Swing before tapping to the Sharpshooter moments later. The Cesaro Section — and the Stardust Section — were most amused, indeed.
A combination of in-ring domination and supernatural mystique propelled The Brothers of Destruction to legendary status in WWE. But it appears that Bray Wyatt possesses more than the bodies of The Undertaker & Kane since abducting the former WWE World Heavyweight Champions last week. With both brothers conspicuous by their absence, The Eater of Worlds addressed their ongoing torment at his hands, while demonstrating newfound control over thunder and lightning, a la The Phenom, and fire, a la Kane, in his most ominous sermon to date. For real this time: Run.
Looks like The Lucha Dragons are gearing up for a serious run at the WWE Tag Team Titles. After all, not only did Kalisto y Sin Cara have all the momentum in the world coming into Raw, but they also picked up even more by knocking off a very competitive team in King Barrett & Sheamus. Even though they were down their third man Rusev, the King and the Celt clearly had no intention of being passed over so quickly. Both Dragons suffered alternating punishment from the Europeans for minutes on end, and the match was veering quickly into a railroading. But fear not: The King of Flight’s last-ditch effort to save the day hit the mark when he ducked a Bull Hammer Elbow and executed a textbook Salida del Sol to pin Barrett for the win.
Unsurprisingly, Jack Swagger has taken issue with Zeb Colter’s defection to MexAmerica. That said, even The Real American can’t deny that The Founding Father’s newfound nation is getting results. Chosen champion and U.S. Titleholder Alberto Del Rio notched his second consecutive trouncing of R-Truth, shaking off Truth’s scissor kick to put him away with the Tree of Woe/double stomp combo. Viva MexAmerica indeed.
Paige has been crowing for weeks — sometimes passive-aggressively, sometimes overly aggressively — that the Divas Revolution truly began with her. Now, she’ll get a chance to prove herself as the true flag-bearer of the next generation, thanks to a Fatal 4-Way victory over Sasha Banks, Becky Lynch and Brie Bella that puts her on a collision course with Charlotte at Survivor Series. She did so, largely, by lying in wait for the rest of the Divas to tear each other apart. Brie Mode had activated with some Daniel Bryan-esque kicks. Becky had demolished everyone with a Tower of Doom. And when Sasha followed up by locking in the Bank Statement on The Lass Kicker, victory was ripe for the taking. Paige did so in merciless fashion, chucking Sasha out of the ring and Ram-Paiging Becky into a crater for the win.
If this 5-on-5 Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match was any indication, Survivor Series itself is going to be a long, long night for Seth Rollins. Despite assembling a squad of four champions in Kevin Owens and the full-strength New Day, The Architect’s team fell to the Roman Reigns–captained cadre of Dean Ambrose, Ryback and — surprise! — the returning Usos in the traditional, 5-on-5 elimination-rules rumble that made up Raw’s main event. Disaster struck out of the gate for Team Rollins when Jey Uso pinned Xavier Woods and Jimmy followed up by eliminating Kofi Kingston. That just left the three former NXT Champions, who quickly evened things up when Big E and Owens beat an Uso apiece. Ryback took out a rampaging Big E with Shell Shocked next and Rollins replied with a Pedigree that ousted The Big Guy. But an errant knee from Rollins landed KO in Ambrose’s Dirty Deeds and left The Architect all alone against his old buddies. He escaped decimation by swinging a steel chair to eat a disqualification, which might have been his best course of action. Sometimes survival means living to fight another day, but those other days are running out fast.