"Hold your horses fellas, I drive an Outback, he drives a Forester, a very depressing model"
Itsy Bitsy Spider
Itsy Bitsy Spider
"I'm afraid of the declining role of the American family, I'm afraid of losing the generational bonds that tie us all together. And rent. I'm really afraid of paying rent."
Itsy Bitsy Spider
Itsy Bitsy Spider
"I'm a black man John, where I grew up we had so many pit bulls we thought they were squirrels"
Itsy Bitsy Spider
Itsy Bitsy Spider
"I'm scared of the big things; cancer, terrorism, Ben Affleck being a lousy Batman"
Itsy Bitsy Spider
Itsy Bitsy Spider
-"You're afraid of midgets?"
-"Not the whole midget, just the hands, small and soft like they could just grab you...You'd hardly feel it...like a whisper..."
Itsy Bitsy Spider
Itsy Bitsy Spider
"There are only 3 things to be genuinely afraid of in this world. One. The Mars Company will stop making Twix, two my ex-wife and three zombies"
