WWE Raw Recap: March 5, 2018
S2018 episode 1293 Aired on March 5, 2018

Musical mayhem ensued when The Monster Among Men clashed with the terrified troubadour in the historic, first-ever Symphony of Destruction Match. Learn what made this instrumental clash reach a painful crescendo.

Kurt Angle once claimed Triple H and Stephanie McMahon only signed Ronda Rousey as payback for humiliating them at WrestleMania 31. Well, at WrestleMania 34, they may wish they had never signed her at all.

After weeks of escalating tensions and sneak attacks between the four parties — Rousey put Triple H through a table; Stephanie slapped Rousey; Triple H sucker punched Angle — The Olympic Hero called out The King of Kings, only to be reminded by Stephanie that he needed his General Manager gig to pay the bills. The Raw Commissioner offered to put all prior animosity behind them and start fresh, but Rousey crashed the party to formally administer a WrestleMania challenge to Stephanie.

Despite the protests of a flustered Triple H, Angle pointed out that Stephanie was still under contract as a Superstar in addition to her Commissioner status, so he was within his rights as Raw’s matchmaker to give Rousey what she wanted. And, given that Triple H possesses the same dual contract and Angle once promised payback if The Game ever attacked him again, The Olympic Hero decided to fold him into the proceedings and make a Mixed Tag Match between himself & Rousey against Triple H & Stephanie for The Show of Shows.

A manic scuffle ensued between the teams that ended with Triple H grapevined in the Ankle Lock, while Stephanie was dropped with a massive Samoan Drop from Rousey. In short? That new signing is looking to be a dream in the ring — and a nightmare for the people who recruited her.

Johann Sebastian Bach. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Braun Strowman.

The Monster Among Men formally joined the ranks of the great composers on Raw, defeating Elias in a Symphony of Destruction Match — in short, the ramp was festooned with an orchestra’s worth of instruments — that the wandering balladeer did everything to try and get out of, up to and including fleeing the arena outright before the bell.

To Elias’ credit, he showed off his proficiency at guitar, piano and drums before the chaos started, but it turns out These Hands possess a destructive talent that Elias’ melodic gifts simply cannot overcome. Strowman lifted Elias’ getaway car into the air to stop his escape and pursued Elias back into the ring. Elias landed a solid Kabong across Strowman’s back with a guitar and a picture-perfect elbow drop off the top rope, only to be chased back up the ramp where Strowman broke a bass over his back (again) and completed the crescendo by flattening Elias under a grand piano.

Thanks to the Falls Count Anywhere stipulation Kurt Angle had attached to the contest, Strowman pinned Elias then and there (after throwing the piano aside like a toy of course), leaving his foe to be stretchered out of the arena to a local medical facility.

Last week, Roman Reigns arrived on Raw and went in hard on an absentee Brock Lesnar after the Universal Champion no-showed his scheduled face-to-face with his WrestleMania challenger. If nothing else, The Big Dog seemed to slightly turn the tide of public opinion against The Beast Incarnate, but Paul Heyman, speaking for his client, proved to be entirely unconcerned with the opinions of the audience when he arrived to "set the record straight."

The Advocate began by demonstrating his and Lesnar’s status by laying the Universal Title down on the mat and didn't waste any time in rebutting Roman's remarks about Lesnar's schedule: According to Heyman, The Conqueror isn’t any less impressive of a competitor because of limited appearances, just like The Undertaker. Furthermore, Reigns would never acquire the title because it “belongs to Brock Lesnar” and, according to Heyman, The Big Dog will never put the needs of the title above those of the family he fights to represent.

He went to make his exit on an ominous note, promising that Lesnar would return to Raw next week where Roman could say (or attempt) whatever he wants. Reigns showed up unanounced, though, and demanded that Heyman pick the title up off the mat. He reiterated that the WWE Universe deserves a champion who appears and wants to appear and ended the evening with something that fell between a request and a command: That when Lesnar comes next week, he comes dressed for a fight.

In other action … Asuka def. Nia Jax … Raw Tag Team Champions Cesaro & Sheamus def. The Revival … John Cena def. Goldust … Bayley def. Mandy Rose … Bray Wyatt def. Rhyno … and Finn Bálor & Seth Rollins def. Intercontinental Champion The Miz & The Miztourage.