On this, surely we can agree: If there is one thing that screams “America,” it’s the right to stockpile enough hamburgers, hot dogs and bratwurst to cripple a Clydesdale … and then throw it all at your friends, enemies and co-workers. The WWE locker room’s Fourth of July cookout was off to a relatively peaceful start until The Vaudevillains attempted to sing and Aiden English was promptly caked in the face. The Miz's attempt to keep the peace met a similar fate when he was hit with a blast of chocolate syrup by some unidentified patriot, inciting an all-out blitzkrieg of foodstuffs from which no Superstar was safe.
"The world's largest food fight" more than lived up to its moniker: Becky Lynch and Summer Rae doused each other with condiments. Cesaro and Apollo Crews arm-wrestled to a draw as the food flew around them. Chris Jericho went ballistic when he found a Band-Aid in his beans. Big Show and Kane double-chokeslammed Heath Slater through a table of food, at which point everyone doused The One Man Band with anything they could find. Only Kevin Owens was lucky enough to escape the mealtime melee … until he, too, was blasted in the face with a pie just when the coast seemed clear.
About a year ago, Charlotte and Sasha Banks debuted in WWE as part of what was then dubbed the Divas Revolution. One year, a WrestleMania moment, a new title and an avalanche of “We Want Sasha” chants later, and The Boss is coming for her due. She told Charlotte as much on Raw when the two Superstars finally went face-to-face and Sasha declared, in no uncertain terms, that Charlotte’s time as WWE Women’s Championship is coming to an end. When Charlotte booted The Boss in the face in response, Sasha took things one step further by attempting to apply the Bank Statement. And even though Dana Brooke was able to pull the champion to safety before any real damage was done, Banks' point was made loud and clear: Tick, tock.
You can now count egg among the many types of food on The Miz’s face this Fourth of July: Not only did the Intercontinental Champion get owned in the world’s largest food fight, but he was feasted upon by Dean Ambrose in a Champion vs. Champion Match that featured no shortage of July 4 fireworks. Riding a wave of hometown support, Ambrose started strong and finished even stronger, rallying from a banged-up knee and a late-game surge from The A-Lister to escape the Figure-Four Leglock and hit Dirty Deeds for the win.
Ambrose wasn’t out of the woods, however, as Seth Rollins arrived for his match while The Lunatic Fringe was celebrating. The Architect’s presence looked, at first, like it was going to incite Ambrose into a rage, but it turns out all The Lunatic Fringe wanted to do was stick around on commentary. The Spanish commentary, no less. Now that's a swerve.
That The Club jumped John Cena again was no surprise. The shocker came from who saved him. After weeks of being attacked by AJ Styles and his foot soldiers, the 15-time World Champion went and called out The Club in its entirety.
AJ Styles, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson were more than happy to oblige, both pointing out Cena’s noticeable lack of allies to even out the numbers game and declaring their intentions to beat up the solitary Superstar week after week until he drops. They commenced to doing just that, mobbing the Cenation leader until Enzo Amore & Big Cass, of all people, cut the mugging short and sent the good brothers backing up the ramp(ski). And whadaya know? Looks like Cena's new palsare sticking around for a bit.
Oh, say, can you see, a 16-Man Elimination Tag Team Match featuring America’s finest taking on a regiment of international Superstars? If it’s Raw’s Fourth of July main event, then yes, yes you can. The final match of Independence Day Raw was technically divided along border-defined battle lines, but it turned quickly into a massive conflagration of alliances and rivalries forming both within and across the designated squadrons.
Cesaro and Jack Swagger engaged in a respectful battle between two former Real Americans, Mark Henry dispatched Kalisto with the World’s Strongest Slam, and Kevin Owens got disqualified for hitting Sami Zayn, his teammate, with a chair. And so it went, until it came down to Sheamus standing alone against Zack Ryder & Big Show, and a last-minute rally by the Irishman was cut short when Show shoved him throat-first into the Rough Ryder. In the end, the Fourth of July ended as it must: with the Stars and Bars descending from the rafters, a giant standing over his fallen foes, and the WWE Universe basking in the unbridled glory of the Woo-nited States of America.
In other action... U.S. Champion Rusev def. Titus O'Neil... Enzo Amore & Big Cass def. The Social Outcasts... Seth Rollins def. Dolph Ziggler... Vickie Guerrero returned to Raw... The Golden Truth def. The Vaudevillains... Becky Lynch def. Summer Rae... and WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day responded to The Wyatt Family's invitation.
Season 2016 episode guides
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