A Life More Ordinary
I guess if someone were to look at my life from the outside, they would never be able to say it was boring or uneventful.
This afternoon, I was kidnapped from my home -- at gunpoint -- by a funny and sad little man named Boyd. This guy was equally convinced that I could help him and that I was the reason his life was a mess to begin with.
It's unbelievable, really, that he won the lottery in the first place, just by using numbers that I'd jotted down at a convenience store. It was the phone number for a Thai restaurant, for Pete's sake! It was even more unbelievable that the guy had managed to not only lose all his winnings, but to accrue an enormous amount of debt ... which he owes to a loan shark.
And, somehow, this is all my fault?!
Is it wrong to hope that it's my psychic abilities that draw the weirdoes out from under the woodwork, rather than my subconscious somehow seeking out people like Boyd to help?
Anyway, Boyd drags me off in his Italian-speaking Humvee to a gas station where we meet Walt. I try to clue Walt in, but that doesn't really work. Then, Boyd makes me get dressed up in a tuxedo that he'd rented in order to fit in at a country club soirée. (I don't even want to think about how he knew my size.) Of course, to get to the club, we then have to commit grand theft auto ... since the Humvee just happened to have gotten itself repossessed while we were in the restroom changing our clothes.
Not a problem, apparently. All we have to do is just steal a taxi and drive to the club ... in order for me to meet a crooked accountant and find out where he's stashed his ill-gotten money. Boyd and I then drive to the guy's house and commit armed burglary by taking $30,000 he had hidden there.
You'd think we'd be done, right?
No. The $30K, apparently, was just "seed" money. Boyd has a bigger plan ... and needs much more than a mere $30K to get him out of his current predicaments!
But before we can execute this grandiose plan, we have to stop by the house of his estranged wife and daughter. There, Boyd says his final goodbyes ... which would've been laughable except for this vision I keep getting of him being shot later in the night!
We then ditch the taxi and "steal" his wife's car ... which he could have easily borrowed. Then, out of nowhere, a couple of Boyd's postal worker friends stop us and proceed to bang on the car with baseball bats in a clearly misconceived attempt to make me commit to helping Boyd.
What Boyd didn't realize is that I'd already known he was in danger; he didn't know that I had been getting visions of him being shot in the head. And, as annoying as the guy is, I totally get it: wanting your life back. I've been there.
What I hadn't seen in the visions, though, is that Boyd had hired the hit man himself, as a sort of backup plan. The idiot had actually thought that he could provide better for his family by being dead ... and that they'd prefer him dead!
So, we end up in this underground poker emporium thing where I proceed to lose everything. Boyd just wouldn't listen to me when I told him that my powers don't make me all-seeing and all-knowing. They did, however, show me that the game was rigged and we were able to get out of there during the brawl that ensued.
But we weren't able to get away from the hit man! Fortunately, Walt had picked up on my situation and he and his deputies were able to swoop in and prevent a complete disaster.
It's days like this where I could wish for a little more ordinary in my life.
Past Entries:
- (7/16) Lack of Faith... or New Angle?
- (7/9) Stop The Madness!
- (7/2) The Unexpected Evening
- (6/25) A Touchy Subject
- (6/18) Does Janus Know About Armageddon?
