Lack of Faith... or New Angle?

I find it interesting that Gene seems to place more faith in my abilities, sometimes, than he does in religion, or even himself. I find it even more curious that he felt he had to buy the relic. Why would anyone want to own the finger bone of John the Baptist?

I'm not sure I get it.

Purdy has studied the Bible, as well as Middle Eastern archeology and histories written at the time of Christ. Besides being a renowned theologian, he's both a student and a scholar of the emergence of Christianity. He knows everything about the growth of the Church during the 1st Century. Purdy is an expert on holy artifacts that are thought to be contemporary to Jesus: everything from the Shroud of Turin to rumored nails from the Cross to the locations of every reliquary that contains alleged remains of Christ's Disciples.

Why would my having a vision of Jesus – or even Saint John the Baptist – "restore" Gene's faith? Why would me describing to him what I saw be any more validating than the testimonies of millions of the faithful over the course of two thousand years?

And what would the good Reverend have done if I described to him a scene other than the one he wanted? What if I saw a guy just, I don't know, tying his sandals or swatting a fly? Or a vision from any random moment in the life of any of the countless monks or pilgrims that touched that relic over the centuries? What then?

My visions can be ambiguous or oblique, open to interpretation. Gene knows this... so, he must have known that wishing me to witness a scene right out of one of the Gospels was little more than a fantasy. Maybe he thought that buying the relic would somehow make it more likely that I'd see what he wanted me to see?

And what if I had seen Saint John baptizing Christ? Or, better, seen myself as Saint John, complete with feeling his itchy camel's hair clothing, tasting the locusts and honey he ate, and seeing his vision of the Spirit of God as it descended on Jesus as a dove?!

What would Purdy have done with that?

I bet I can guess… he probably would've started referring to me – and my Gospel vision – in every sermon he gave. I can almost see him now, propping up that little finger bone before him on the pulpit while proclaiming: "My friend John Smith has seen the face of Christ!" By owning the relic, he would've felt he owned the vision, too, right? And, with renewed faith, Gene would've preached with renewed fervor and conviction... and that would've undoubtedly translated to more listeners, higher ratings, further global expansion and, of course, more money.

I suppose Purdy paying a large sum for the item is not such a curious thing, after all. To him, it was merely an investment. It's funny how a small thing, like wanting his faith restored, can look a lot like greed.

Sitting here, I can't help but remember how my mother struggled with her own faith when I was growing up. She taught me early on that doubt was the flip side of certainty; that the two went hand in hand. Her answer was simple. She'd always just begin every prayer with: "Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief." God, I'm pretty sure, was her only Object of Faith.

Past Entries:

• (7/9) Stop The Madness!
• (7/2) The Unexpected Evening
• (6/25) A Touchy Subject
• (6/18) Does Janus Know About Armageddon?