A TOUCHY SUBJECT
I definitely need to get back in the game. It's time, I think.
I mean, I love my man Bruce like a brother, but after all the hours in the car today, I've come to realize that the two of us, well, we sound like an old married couple. I need to get out of town, meet new people, maybe find a nice woman ... or put myself where she can find me.
Don't get me wrong: Cleaves Mills is a terrific place to be from. It's my home, and I'm comfortable here. Complacent, even. But, sometimes, it's like being kept on simmer when you'd really rather just blow the lid off and boil over, you know?
So, I bust out of town ... then what? Maybe I've started to close myself off to making new connections. Today, I completely missed my cue from our waitress that signaled her interest in me.
How many other such cues have I missed? How many other moments have gone right by me? Those fleeting moments, missed opportunities that begin with a little eye contact or a great smile or a sly flirtation. Have I shut myself off to them? Maybe I've been depending too much on my visions having to clue me in.
Who am I kidding? Having visions is the main reason I hang back.
Dana, Rebecca, Alex ... they've all gone away. Try being a psychic's girlfriend! Man, you have no idea. It's more complicated than you can imagine. Complicated, confusing, often disconcerting, and almost always disappointing.
Yeah, sure, I might be able to walk up to a bar and, just by touching it, figure out the best woman there to approach. One touch and I can see if she's going to say yes to me asking her out. A clink of wine glasses and I know how she kisses goodnight. One kiss and I know whether we end up in bed together.
But if we make it to the bed and start making love -- suddenly, every person we've ever made love to is right there in the room, interacting with earlier versions of ourselves. Then, every person that those people have ever made love to shows up, too, and so on. And don't get me started about when I get one of those visions, in the middle of all this, where I'm suddenly someone else and seeing out of their eyes ... I feel what they feel!
One time, when I was alone in a hotel room, I had really great sex with a wonderful woman. But I was someone else, and it turns out that the vision was from fifty years in the past! Hotel rooms are the worst, let me tell you.
Let's just say that it's a good thing I'm not telepathic, too. I don't think I could deal with everyone's thoughts on top of everything else.
As it is, I'm constantly invading people's privacy, stumbling upon their secrets: silly, vain secrets; sad secrets; humiliating secrets; and horrible, frightening secrets. Things I almost never want to know. Things that they, most certainly, don't want me to know!
Yep, my abilities include dispelling almost all mystery, and that pretty much squashes any hope for romance that might have been lurking. What woman wants that? I'd probably know within days or a few weeks whether we got married, had any kids, or cheated on each other!
Visions are real relationship killers. Believe me when I say there is such a thing as knowing each other too well and being too honest. Hell, I can't even fool myself half the time.
I don't know. Maybe I should take out a personal ad. What would it say?
SWM, 6'2", late thirties, fit, attractive psychic (can see past, present and possible futures) seeks sexy-but-inexperienced SF, 20-30, with no secrets (I have enough headaches, thank you), infinite patience, a vivid imagination and, of course, an active fantasy life.
Man, I have got to get out more.
Past Entries:
