JUNE 21, 2007
MY SHARE OF THE PIE
Swimming against the tide is never easy. In fact, it can be downright exhausting – even if it is a great way to burn calories and keep your glutes tight.
Just try to have a civilized divorce in Hollywood and you'll see what I mean. This place is notorious for both its nasty, cutthroat divorce proceedings and the insatiable piranhas with the Ivy League law school degrees who came to L.A. with the sole purpose of feeding on the broken promises and shattered dreams of the poor (well, not really) innocent (er, not so much) couples of Hollywood. Thinking for even one second that you may be able to avoid the bloodbath means that you're definitely swimming upstream with the other renegade salmon. And if that's your M.O., it's not like attorneys are so thrilled to take you on (they tend to hate it when there's no promise of blood on the floor).
Maybe it shouldn't be so surprising that divorce has become so acrimonious in this town since marriage has become one of the ultimate power moves in Hollywood. For some people it's akin to a strategic business merger, or even a hostile takeover, as it almost was in Cricket's case. If success in business is more important to you than true love, then it makes sense to follow your greed instead of your heart. Like Kenny and Shoshanna. Are they in love? Right for each other? Destined to be together? Doubtful. But getting married could help both of their careers – and not only do they both know it, neither of them is trying to hide it.
Honestly, I never wanted to believe Kenny was just like the rest of them. I can admit that our marriage had become a bit of La-La Land Power Couple Cliché. We certainly weren't the only couple following that script but I was actually proud of the fact that we could be the A-Team, yet still enjoy each other and create a loving home for our daughter – something that not many Wives Of could claim. But Tom-Cruising me by asking for a divorce just a few months shy of our pre-nup expiring proved to me that Kenny wasn't as good of a person as I thought – or hoped – he was.
Even though I appreciate that he wasn't completely trying to screw me and leave me penniless when he thought he was getting his new contract to run Durango, I still have to wonder how I could live with a man for almost ten years and not really know him and understand what he's truly made of. And on top of that, how I could've been so naïve (though I'd like to think of it as "trusting") before we got married and signed the pre-nup to not anticipate what might happen if we didn't make it. In California, if a couple has been married for ten years or longer, then the wife is entitled to spousal support for the rest of her life. But I didn't do my homework and now it looks like I could flunk out if I don't study up. I'd like to think that if I knew then what I know now, I would've protected myself better. Or would I have?
The question for me now is: Can I tap in to the inner strength I've come to realize I have – actually more than I ever thought, who knew! – to get my share of the pie that I rightfully deserve while still managing to be true to who I am and not sinking to the subterranean level that many of my peers have sunk to (or more likely, were already at)? If I have any shot at learning from my mistakes, making a good life for my daughter, not blowing this Do-Over I've been given and ending up with a life worth saving, then the answer has got to be "yes."
