The do over of my life began 2 years ago. I spent the first 20 years of my life - smart, successful, passionate, free and full of dreams. Through a series of bad choices in relationships, I completed medical school with nothing but a career which allowed me to heal others while ignoring my own wounds.

I had 3 sons with my husband, he became addicted to alcohol and meth, tried to kill me, literally, and left me with some serious and very visible scars. After several surgeries, I became addicted to opiates to kill the pain of my life. I ended up going to federal prison in 2005...as a physician, the DEA frowns on addictions.

I spent 6 months in Alderson Federal Prison camp and was released in January 2006. I have spent everday rebuilding my life. I have no regrets, only gratitude for the "do over" I have gotten. My chapter 7 was final in 2005 and I lost everything, and nothing. I have full custody of my sons, still not even teenagers and I have begun to love the woman I am becoming. I have totally reinvented myself, but this time, from the inside out. I love who I am striving to be.

I have a God, I have a passion for medicine that I will get to use again in the next year, and I have hope. I spent my whole life overachieving and trying to cover the pain of not being a physically attractive woman. I now know I am a beautiful person. Men do not know it or show it, but I do and my sons think I am beautiful. Lack of time and money have left little room for any external beauty enhancements. I glow on the inside with hope and joy. I feel like a million dollars except when I look in the mirror.

I am truly starting over with the only things that matter. Love for my God, my sons and myself. I am greatful that every door that was once closed, has opened my eyes to all the things that money cannot buy. I would like to say that my appearance does not matter at all to me. But I can say as a woman and a doctor, I sometimes feel the sting of my reflection in glass; the teeth that were knocked out and not replaced, the scars where my ex husband cut me. the weight I put on after surgery and sitting in prison, the poor at-home color job on my hair, the clothes I got at Goodwill and so on.

But when I am alone, I feel nothing but gratitude that I am alive, forgiven, loved, valued and graced with the chance to truly start over. Instead of spending my time shopping for me or buying my kids toys, I play with them for free and volunteer my gifts. I feel worth not from my paycheck, but from coaching my sons T-ball team and expecting nothing in return. I no longer get all my self worth from being Dr. Sanders and making miraculous saves in the ER, but from being called mom 500 times a day and really being there, all there when my own kids need me.

-- Lisa S