AUGUST 11, 2009
CANADIAN MUSINGS
I just got off a plane from Vancouver, Canada and I'm a little jet-lagged. This, of course makes no sense since I never left the Pacific Time Zone. Maybe I've eaten one too many Maple Products and I'm having some sort of massive sugar crash. Seriously, that town is crazy with the Maple. Maple Cookies, Maple Omelets, Maple Bread, Maple Beer.
Don't get me wrong, I love maple syrup, can't get enough of the stuff... when it's on pancakes the way our forefathers intended. Maple Toothpaste? Seriously? That's just wrong.
And what the hell is the deal with all the teddy bears and... (what's the plural of moose? Mooses? Moose-I?) dressed up in RCMP uniforms? That's not exactly the image we strive for at the SBPD. But I guess my smiling colleagues north of the 49th parallel don't see anything wrong with it. Can you imagine if we started selling cute little stuffed Santa Barbara Police Bears? It'd be like taking out an ad in the Criminal Gazette that says: "SBPD: We're Soft On Crime. Come Take What You Like!"
My Canuk Brothers in Blue could kill a lot of birds with the same hockey puck if they made up a stuffed Canadian goose in a Royal Canadian Mounted Police hat holding a tiny bottle of maple syrup in one wing and a hockey stick in the other. One stop souvenir shopping. Think of all the room it would save in your carry-on.
Man... now I want pancakes.
