"Do you have any weapons on you, any needles, anything that's going to stick me?" This is one of the first things I say to the new people in my life. Nice. It's the price of doing business. Always alert. Always on. It's the price I pay to stay alive.
I got very lucky recently. I had a momentary lapse of 'Frostiness' and the Piper showed up with his hand out. I don't want to go into too much detail here. I never know who's reading this nonsense and I don't want to give away any weak spots in the armor. Suffice it to say payment was made in the form of a rather painful injury to my upper left torso. It only hurts when I breathe. And the woman I married wonders why I'm so intense.
"Why can't you just relax? Why do you always have to be on guard? Why can't you just have a banana daiquiri and zone out?" Why? I'll tell you why, because I've learned the hard way that the when I zone out bad things happen. People get hurt; I get hurt, or worse. Plus, there's the fact that I hate bananas.
Ten years the woman has known me and never once seen me consume a banana or banana-based product. Yet twice a week she has to push a banana daiquiri on me and whine at me to 'zone out'. What does she think I am, some mid-to-upper level corporate executive who gets to run off to a bimonthly shipping convention in San Diego and get hammered with all the other Men's Wearhouse suited drones? Please.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I wouldn't love to empty my Ramada Inn's Jr. Suite mini bar, wrap myself in a cocoon of Jim Beam and sleep through all meaningless morning seminars. But I prefer to work for a living.
The Doc's say I'm on the mend and should be back to fighting form in no time. Typing with one hand's a bit of a bitch. And I've had to completely change my shooting form to a side draw modified cowboy. But it's all fine. Switching things up from time to time keeps you sharp. I just don't know how I'll ever recover from riding shotgun for O'Hara.