Before we get into any of this, I'll just say that I make no apologies for the way I behaved this week. I was in a bank, and the bank was being robbed, so you've got to cut me some slack. Now, I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you've never walked into a bank to make a routine deposit and then found yourself in a hostage situation. If you have, then you probably know what I'm talking about.
As for the rest of you, well, just imagine you're just going about your business and in a moment, you're facing down death. It may sound dramatic, but that's pretty much where my head was and thus my behavior, which I'll man up and admit now, may have been a bit on the panicky side.
But I won't say I didn't learn something from the experience, because I'll tell you, a person faced with his very mortality gets a lot of thinking done. I realized that there are a few things that I should probably get off my chest, so in the interests of cathartic disclosure, I thought I this week I would I would use this space to lay myself bare and offer everything I thought while preparing to meet my maker under the counter of the local savings and loan. The thoughts on this list are in no particular order:
Now, in retrospect, I admit that some of these thoughts aren't exactly, well, coherent. Furthermore, I'm well aware that #7 was something I heard Yoda say, but these are the thoughts of a man at the precipice, and there's no accounting for rationality under such a circumstance. I will say that despite its position on the list, #8 is what makes sense to me right now. I've been working too hard, and I deserve a vacation. Maybe I'll head up to San Francisco or down to San Diego. It's like 75 degrees there all year around.
I'm not even going to ask Shawn. I know he'll understand. I've been through some trauma. And besides, he left for his own vacation three hours ago. I'll see you at Christmas.