FEBRUARY 15, 2008
SUPERSTITIOUS

You can say what you want about whether or not you think I'm uptight, but I just spent a night in a museum, and I'm here to tell you that it's nothing like a Ben Stiller movie. First of all, I was with Shawn, so you know I was shanghai'd into it. Secondly, there was a crazed killer on the loose inside there with us. Thirdly, we found said crazed killer dead inside of a refrigerator in one of the exhibits. Fourth, the place smelled like dust, and the supersmeller was up all night over it. And then, of course, there was the curse.

Okay, so I believe in curses, but it's not like I don't have a reason. Do the research; I have. Half of the guys who opened King Tut's tomb were dead within, like, two years. One of them died after he cut himself shaving. And what about that movie, Poltergeist? How many of the people in that movie are dead now? Too many, I'd say, and I'm not even counting Jobeth Williams' career. I shudder to think what might have happened had the cast of Poltergeist discovered the tomb of Tutankhamen.

And despite all the weirdness that followed our night in the museum, including Shawn's discovery of a 3,000 year old mummy behind the wheel of a totaled van and then opening the door at his dad's house and finding his mom (!) standing there, he's still not convinced that there's some kind of ancient force at work here. I'm thinking just the opposite. I mean, think about it. After all this mummy business, Shawn's mom just shows up out of the blue, and he doesn't think there's some kind of connection? I know, right? I can't believe he doesn't see it, but then his mom is something of a sore subject.

In any case, I'm thinking that a little time off might be in order. I know I could use it. I've lost two clients, my secretary has forgotten what I look like, my car has just recently started making a sound akin to a metal box of rocks falling down a flight of stairs (I think it's the suspension) and my shower has a leak that's dripping right down into my downstairs neighbor's place. It's odd, and it all just started in the past week or so, right about the time we started on this case with the mummy!

So that's it. There's a curse. And I'm not going to make it worse by talking about it. I'm going to get my car fixed, move the pharmaceutical gig to the front of the line and get things in order. I might also do a little research in counter-curse techniques. This way, the next time you see me, I'll be ready for action with Shawn again. That is if I'm not undead.