I always knew there was something weird about me, but I could never quite put a label on it.
Then my family finally knew what to call it: "Monkish"
And I said, "What? I don't get it, what is that?"
Then, they told me about this show called "Monk." Even though they only saw it once and never really took a liking to it, (bastards wouldn't know a good show if it bit em' where the sun didn't shine) they kept telling me how I was so like the character, Monk.
"You should watch it," they said. "He's a neat freak just like you."
Now, personally, I was never a big fan of what my family members liked to watch. All they shows that they liked really weren't that great. So how could I take their word for it? I didn't.
Then, one day, I actually stumbled upon one of Monk's shows. I remember it clear as day. (I didn't know what the episode was called at the time, but it was "Monk and the Paperboy") I flipped to the channel just as police officer was asking Monk where the bathroom was. And Monk said, "I don't have one" just as he's closing the door to it. And I was freaking out because that is exactly what I would've said. "What? Bathroom? I've never heard of such a thing." (Yep, that was me and still is, for that fact)
From that moment on, I was hooked. I didn't really care that I was watching the show out of order. Eventually, I watched the entire first and second season. Now, I can safely say that I have watched ALL the episodes and have my favorite ones (which are a lot, by the way) on DVD.
For the first time in my life, I almost feel "normal" with Monk. I think: Finally, someone I can relate to.
He and I are so alike that it's scary. Observe:
I, too, am not too keen on shaking somebody's hand. I try to avoid it at all cost. When I do, I have to wash my hands immediately. I would rather chop off my hand than shake it with somebody.
I wash my hands way too often. I couldn't even count the number of times I do it in a day because I don't even realize that I'm doing it most of the time.
I not only disinfect my hands, but I disinfect my body as well. I use pure alcohol in a spray bottle and drench myself in it--from hair to toe nails. Hand sanitizer is not just for the hands, my friends.
Lysol is my perfume, and Clorox wipes are my tissue.
I am so compulsive that I even disinfect my disinfecting products.
So, it's safe to say that I am germophobic. I also hate it when people touch me. I even hate it when people touch the air around me. I even took the Monk quiz, and it confirmed it: I am Monkish.
And you know what? I am darn proud of it too. Because I now have somebody I can relate to about this stuff. I mean, I've always been this way, but now I have a name for it. I'm so happy!
I would also like to add that I think Monk is such a hunk. I always act like his BIGGEST FAN (Sarah Silverman)when I watch him.I get all jumpy and excited when he does his "hand thing."
If you agree with what I'm about to say, then please give a shout out: MONK IS THE MOST INCREDIBLE GENIUS IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!
Monk Lover (or Sandra L.)
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