Cookie Jar
S3 episode 1 Aired on June 23, 2017

Maggie (Lennon Parham) and Emma (Jessica St. Clair) are learning self defense from an intimidatingly awesome instructor named Cookie (Lauren Weedman), and while Maggie’s fierce moves are so impressive she scores an invitation to join Cookie’s class for elite students, Emma is warned that she’s a danger to herself and should forget everything she has learned immediately. Not a problem, Cooks. 

Emma and Mark (Keegan Michael-Key) are now together, but they haven’t yet re-consummated their relationship. Though initially Emma’s concerns center on the mysteries of penile aging, Maggie says that she’d personally be more worried about someone seeing her own body, since it’s been 15 years and, well, this is 40. Gee, thanks Maggie! Emma hadn’t actually thought about that until now. But that night, neither Mark’s romantic homemade dinner of microwaved banana and Rice Krispie-crusted chicken nor his smooth dance moves can erase Emma’s newfound body shame. 

In other new couple news, Bruce (Brad Morris) wants to introduce Maggie to his new girlfriend Nancy, so Maggie invites the duo over. As she sets out the approximately 400 apps she’s prepared, she’s feeling very positive about the whole thing -- that is, until Bruce and his lady arrive and Maggie and Emma learn that Nancy is actually Cookie. Seeing Bruce and Cookie together is very unsettling to Maggie -- and not just because Cookie is her beloved instructor and a perfect physical specimen while Bruce is, well, Bruce.

Emma discovers that a tuxedo-clad Mark has snuck into her room in an attempt at spontaneous seduction. Before they can get down to business in the dark recesses of Emma’s closet (per her suggestion), Maggie comes upstairs and Emma hides Mark in said closet. But thanks to Maggie’s self-defense training and ninja-like instincts she senses a presence in the room, and Mark gets himself a swift punch to the throat.

After the mix-up, Mark and his injured larynx join game night, which takes a very awkward turn after Cookie and Bruce’s exchange of “I love yous” throws Maggie into a tailspin. When Emma chases her down, Maggie admits that being around the two couples has made her feel like maybe she’s ready to get back in the dating game. In the meantime, Maggie urges Emma to take another stab at sexy time with Mark.

And not much later, once Emma comes clean about her self-doubt and Mark assures her that he’s changed quite a bit too, their almost-40-year-old naked bodies finally meet, and make sweet music together.