OCTOBER 24, 2006
PALI ADVENTURE CAMP
PALI MOUNTAIN, CA

If the Four Seasons were to ever build a camp, I think I have a good idea of what it might look like. Located on 74 acres in the San Bernardino National Forest, just minutes from Lake Arrowhead, sits the camp of all camps… Pali Adventures. "Pali" is short for Palisades, the camp's original location. For those of you who do not live in the LA area, I'm sure you're at least familiar with the stereotype of the regular Joe who strikes it rich and then becomes a jerk. What you may not be familiar with, however, is where he lives.

The Palisades.

Pali Adventures offers each camper a choice of various programs with which they can specialize in during their stay. Feeling adventurous? How about Hollywood Stunt, Extreme Action or my personal favorite, Secret Agent? Maybe you prefer something more domestic like Culinary, Photography or Spa & Well Being? If you have the money ($1500/week), Pali Adventures has a bunk with heated floors awaiting your child.

But while Pali Adventures boasts all the amenities of the rich and famous, the actual staffers at the camp are anything but snobby. One particularly fun-loving character, "Cracker", a 29-year-old mate from down under, took the time to show us around. Cracker (real name: Graham. Get it? Graham Cracker), is the head counselor, but unlike the camps you and I attended, this guy leads the raids instead of stopping them. He is the king prankster. No one is off limits and nothing crosses the line. From stink bombs to water guns, this guy is D-D-D-Dangerous (with a capital D).

We arrived early enough to witness the sleepy march of campers from their bunks to breakfast. Cracker snuck us in to partake of the cuisine and bug-Cristol. The buffet was so nice I thought I was on a cruise ship. And then I remembered that I'd never been on a cruise ship.

Cracker then took us out to Hollywood Stunt Camp. Jaron's back was sore (so he says), so he sat on the sidelines, heckling me as I contemplated jumping from a 3-foot high truss onto an inflated matt. Twenty minutes later, I finally worked up the nerve and made the jump. A quick check of my heart rate revealed that I was indeed having a wuss attack.

Cracker could see that I was in need of a little relaxation, so he took us over Spa & Well Being. There we got some rock star style manicures (I got blue and green sparkles, Jaron got black). We got fresh words from a 12 year-old girl named Bobo. And Jaron even got a massage from Cracker.

It's clear to us that Pali Adventures offers the best summer programming money can buy, but it's characters like Cracker who make the experience worth every penny (easy for me to say, I don't have to shell out the $1500 a week). The fearless Aussie made us feel like kids again and provided us with our most fun day yet. And best of all, he didn't charge us a penny! Now that's good character. And all characters are welcome. Mate.

Past Entries:

• (10/18) From Birds to Ligers
• (10/11) The Man Behind the Mascot
• (10/3) Top Banana