What kind of schedule does your roommate keep?
Off to work at 8, in bed by 10.
Sleeps all day, parties all night.
I never know when she’ll be coming or going, but at least he keeps the noise down.
Has your roommate ever shown up with any bruises, black eyes or broken bones?
Yeah, all the time since he started making his stupid skateboarding videos.
A few times. He says it’s from his rugby league, but I’ve never seen him play.
How does your roommate do with family?
She’s never really mentioned her family, and she can be a little brusque when yours comes around.
She gets in screaming matches with her parents and yours.
She’s very close with hers, and very respectful when yours stops by.
When it comes to dishes, your roommate is:
Very considerate. He leaves no plate unclean.
On top of it, sometimes. Other times, he’ll go running off like there’s an emergency and leave his dirty plates.
Straight up terrible. How hard is it to put the plates in the dishwasher?
Your roommate entertains:
Every once in a while, and his friends are all nice and respectful.
Almost every night. There are all kinds of weirdos coming and going and leaving their crap everywhere.
Only once in a while, although his parties sound more like interrogations. But he keeps it contained to his room, so…
Let’s say you’re in a bar and a stranger approaches your roommate, calling him by a name you’ve never heard. How do you think he’d react?
He’d probably shrug it off.
He’d probably start a fight.
You know, this has actually happened a few times, and he gets super weird about it.
Your roommate’s clothing choices are:
Pretty predictable. Business clothes during the week and jeans and sneakers on the weekend.
Pretty much mine. She’s always taking my clothes without asking!
Pretty all over the place. One day she’s dressed all preppy, the next she looks like a freaking crack addict.
You’re at a party and someone invites you and your roommate to smoke a joint. He would probably:
Pull out his own joint and go on about how his weed is the best (which it’s not).
Turn it down, but ask where he can buy some for himself.
Leave the room. He’s not into that.
How does your roommate feel about guns?
I’ve seen that jerk get drunk and shoot air rifles at neighborhood cats.
I actually saw one in his room once. He said it’s for protection.
What does your roommate do for a living?
He’s in finance and works like a dog.
I think he does sound for the movies. That would explain all the recording equipment he has, and the long hours.
He’s a bartender, and he always bringing his work home. Nothing like drunk strangers barging into your room at 4AM.
How is your roommate in the home decor department?
As far as I can tell, she finds all of her furniture at the dump.
The best word for her taste is “inoffensive,” although some of her books are hollowed out and filled with fake passports. So…
The place looks better since she moved in. All of her furniture and art is very tasteful.
What does your roommate do for exercise?
Weekly half marathons and Krav Maga in the living room.
Recreational kickball league.
Rollerblading through the apartment at 2AM