The Transitional Authority is here to keep you safe. While employed to ensure the safety and security of all citizens, the Transitional Authority also encourages and values recreational activities. Our Hosts have graciously allowed us to recently re-open The Yonk, the New Orleans-themed bar run by the Bowman family. We at the Transitional Authority understand you may wish to partake in Mardi Gras festivities at The Yonk, and invite for you to do so. But before you imbibe, here are a few guidelines created with your protection in mind:
- Put the “Fat” in Fat Tuesday – Feel free to eat and be merry to celebrate Mardi Gras! Contrary to a circulating rumor, however, bacon will not be provided by the Transitional Authority for the occasion.
- Have a Drink or Two – But maybe not three or four. Remember, our neighbors in San Francisco and Kentucky are still permitted to brew and distill, but all good things must be enjoyed with appropriate moderation or our Hosts may think we are taking advantage of their hospitality.
- Make Friends – Don’t be afraid to extend a hand and converse with a neighbor! But please be wary if you overhear any exchange of information that could be related to Resistance activity. It is your civic duty to tell a Redhat immediately. If you hear something, say something.
- Don’t Drink and Bike – Protect yourself and the roadways! Don’t become another drinking and biking statistic. If you need a ride home, remember you can hop on a bus and get anywhere you need to go in 20 minutes!
- Feel Free to Dress For the Occasion – Celebrate Mardi Gras wearing your best and brightest! But please, do not wear masks. Your identity should never be in question. Only the Homeland Security team is permitted to wear masks, as it is part of their uniform.
- Respect Curfew – Above all, plan to be in your homes by curfew (12AM). There are no exceptions. Homeland Security, assisted by drones, will enforce curfew with serious repercussions to anyone who does not obey.
Above all, have fun! In the words of Proxy Snyder, “To the Yonk, and 10 more years of beer, bourbon and success!”